“None of us were given a manual when we became parents,” began Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community Health and Human Services Community Health Educator Vurlene Notsinneh-Bowekaty on August 6, as she hosted a webinar about helicopter parenting. About 100 people attended.

“Helicopter parenting” is a term that describes when parents or guardians are highly involved with their children’s activities and tend to overprotect, control and overshadow them. As a result, the child is unable to explore and understand their own life experiences and learn how to navigate them as they enter their teenage years and adulthood. 

When children are unable to develop their independence and autonomy, this negatively impacts their overall mental, behavioral and physical health. In some cases, helicopter parents may not realize how much they are holding their children back. Therefore, it is important that communication between parents/guardians and their children be clear and supportive. When a child communicates how they feel, it is imperative for those in their supportive circle to listen and try to understand what the child is sharing with them. 

Examples of helicopter parenting are making decisions for the children, cleaning their room for them, obsessing over school assignments, and linking their own self-worth to the child’s successes. 

Notsinneh-Bowekaty stated, “As a mom, I always wanted to be there when things went wrong. My husband would tell me, ‘Vurlene, we need to allow our children to make mistakes.’ We all learn something that way. We all learn a lesson from it; I have.” 

It may seem challenging to allow children to make mistakes, but it is vital for both the parents/guardians and the children. There is a difference between offering help and taking over; once this is understood, the child is free to grow, develop and learn from experience while feeling supported and loved. 

As she neared the end of the presentation, Notsinneh-Bowekaty provided attendees with some positive words of encouragement. “I know it’s way different from when they were babies, to toddlers, to teens and adults. [But] our kids are exploring the world; they want to know what’s going on. Help your children make their own choices. Remember, you’ve got this. We’ve all got this.”

Beginning next month, SRPMIC Health and Human Services will be hosting community outreach events around Suicide Awareness Month in September. After that, the department will host the annual Glow Walk on October 8. Additional details on upcoming events/programs for September and October will be released in the coming weeks.